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In Anxiety

Myth vs Fact: Anxiety Is Part Of Who I Am And I Can’t Change Who I Am.

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You are not born to be anxious. 

Sometimes, especially when we have been dealing with anxiety for a long time, we surrender to the idea that our personality is like this and cannot be changed anymore. This idea is dangerous as it convinces us not to seek treatment and succumb to a lifetime of emotional struggle. It makes us settle for less than we could have.

Anxiety appears and is maintained by behaviours we learn to do and thoughts we learn to think. Worry is an example of behaviour which we learn to use for predicting and preparing for the future. When we worry, we imagine potential unpleasant or harmful scenarios and we prepare for the worst. This gives us a sense of safety. However, due to certain experiences and people who were part of our early life, some of us learn to use worry in unhealthy ways. We learn to resort to it more often than it would be necessary or that no matter how much we prepare, we will never be safe. We also learn to avoid or escape situations in which we feel unsafe. This further maintains the fear and unease.

In the end, we learn to unconsciously follow a sequence of behaviours: worry about the future, feel anxious, avoid. Worry, anxiety, avoidance. Anxiety disorders arise as a result of repeating this sequence so frequently that it prevents us from leading the life we desire.

However, these behaviours are learned and continue because they are practised. In the same way that we learned to worry and avoid, we can learn healthier ways to obtain the feeling of safety.


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