Duke’s wife never gives up.

“If I said it was easy, I would be lying. The pain was too much. But thanks to my wife. If it weren’t for her, nothing would have changed. She is a strong woman. She loved me most when no one else would like to be associated with me”, Duke continued talking.

“It must be difficult for both of you,” I said. The conversation was taking a different direction. It was becoming more emotional.

I had visited Duke, who has been my friend since childhood. We have not seen each other for some time as responsibilities increased in our lives, we found ourselves going to different directions. We were both living in different cities.

A week earlier, I had received a call from Duke. “It’s over, man. I am free. It was not easy, but now I am free”, these were exact words of Duke over the phone. We talked for over one hour. I promised him to travel and visit him together with his family.

I didn’t know Duke was diagnosed with clinical depression. I blame it on myself for not checking in him as often as I should have. It’s unbelievable. No one could think Duke can be depressed. He brings life to the party. He is ever full of spirit. As we were growing up, I can count the number of times Duke was sad.

“You have no idea,” he continued talking. We were sitting in the living room. His wife approached and served us fresh juice.

“Enjoy. In case you need anything, just call me. I am in the kitchen preparing dinner,” his wife said as she walks away.

“Thank you, darling,” he said.

Depression

I listened to Duke as he continued to narrate his journey to overcoming depression. “Everybody has a bad time. However, depression can make every day to be a bad day. Most of the days, I refused to go to work. I spend days on the bed, unable or even unwilling to wake up. I didn’t want anything to do with work. There was no meaning of waking up every day and go to work. I even began questioning why we work so hard.

I refused to eat anything cooked by my wife. No one was welcomed to visit us. All my phones were switched off. I didn’t want anyone to call and start asking me silly questions.

I wanted to escape from the trap of life. But there was nowhere to hide. For once, life had lost meaning. I started hating the woman I once loved with all my heart. I didn’t want to see my two daughters near me.  

It’s a tough life. Suicide was the only solution. But thanks to my wife. She saved me. Without help, depression is a vicious cycle that is impossible to break”.

Getting Help

Duke kept quiet. There was a silence for about two minutes. “How did you overcome all that feeling,” I broke the silence.

“First thing is to accept that I am depressed. Accepting is more difficult than getting treatment. It took me a long time to admit that I was depressed. Most of the time, I convinced myself that I am just bored with life.

However, my wife was there for me all of this time. She did not judge me for sleeping all day. I appreciate the fact that she did not raise a quarrel with me when I became abusive.

She slowly started talking to me about my situation. Many times she tried to make me talk about how I was feeling. She tried her best to help me. But I was resisting her help. I even threatened to leave home and never come back.

At that time is when she knew things were bad. She called one of our close friend. Together they talked to me, and for the first time, I started seeing changes in my life. I accepted that I needed help, and I agreed to seek professional help.

Therapy Changed My Life

“My wife referred me to cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT).”

“What does that mean?” I interrupted. 

“CBT is a type of treatment which helps patients understand their feelings and thoughts that influence behaviours.”

He continued talking, “CBT helped me understand the cause of my depression. With the help of doctors, I realised why I was withdrawing from society. It also helped me change my attitude. Slowly, I started seeing life from a positive outlook.

Now I understand depression. My feelings and thoughts can’t control me anymore. Life began to change when I took charge of my thoughts and actions.

I have seen huge improvements. Today I am a different person. Though my depression has not gone completely, now I can manage it. I can function well in day-to-day life.”

Look After Your Loved Ones: No one Should Struggle Alone

“Wow. That’s an inspiring story. I salute your wife for her efforts. She did a good job to help you,”, I interrupted the conversation.

“Yes, she is a strong woman. Thanks to her. Today I am well.

You should also look after your loved ones. Depression can affect anyone. No one should undergo the pain alone. If we all look after each other, we will reduce the increasing rates of suicide in Australia.”

It was already night. Dinner was ready. We ate and continued with our conversation.